FIGHT OR FLIGHT part 1

“There are stages in life when there is no storm, no crisis, when we do our human best; it is when a crisis arises that we instantly reveal upon whom we rely.” Oswald Chambers

Fear is as common to mankind as is breathing. No one reading this has ever been without fear. It is the enemy’s greatest weapon.  A weapon he wields with expert ability, vicious intent and is of gigantic proportions. Fear is unrelenting. It will not just “go away” unless it is able to turn you back to the path the enemy wishes you to follow.

Understand that I absolutely believe a person can become too fixated on the enemy and his works. That said, I also believe that a person can take the enemy far too lightly; this allows him so much freedom in our lives. If, however, we allow God to show us what we should know about the enemy, we will find ourselves better prepared to do battle with him. And I assure you, if you are truly a Christ Follower, you WILL do battle with the enemy.

HE LED ME INTO THE DARKNESS...

“He wants you to remember who delivered you from that time. That's the point of holding on to memory: delivery, not darkness.” ― Ted Dekker, Kiss

I mentioned before that I had  experienced a very, very dark time. During this period in my life, fear had the upper hand. I can’t even begin to explain how much fear had it’s grip on me. I could barely function. This was not just intense worry or extreme apprehension. It was raw, unfiltered fear. I believe that I had come to a very serious crossroads in my life. God had already been working on stripping me of all the false securities I had built over the years. But this was a different kind of cleansing. I believe I came to a place where God let the enemy have his way with me to a certain degree. Remember the question that Jesus had asked of me? I believe he wanted to show me that even in the midst of the deepest, darkest spiritual warfare...he was more than enough. But I had to see the real danger I was in before I could understand the validity of his strength to rescue me. After all, to belittle the power of the enemy belittles the victory Christ has over that enemy.  So Jesus, in his great love for me, allowed the enemy to roar in my face. I can only imagine how much it hurt Christ to see me in such pain; to let that pain continue until it had accomplished it's work within me. The enemy thought he had me. He was wrong. He just didn’t know it yet.

...AND DEATH WAS WAITING FOR ME.

“...though he slay me...I will still hope in Him...” Job.

Things continued to get darker and darker.  By that time, my emotions which had been previously roaring through my body, had become almost nonexistent.  A numbness had come over me that felt like I had died but my body hadn’t realized it yet. I could find no way out of the darkness. I had tried over and over again to do...say...believe...the right things. But darkness suffocated every good thing I tried. I found myself at a point where I had to choose to live in fear or die in freedom. The words of Job came to mind; ”...though he slay me, I will still hope in him.” My soul took it’s final breath and told God that I could do nothing to make this darkness go away. I could do nothing to keep myself alive. I. Could. Do. Nothing. When you get to the utter end of yourself...all that is left is God. Whether or not you choose him is up to you.  I chose God. Did the fear immediately go away? No. Because God had only shown me who the enemy was: not how to fight him.